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yeah.. [30 Sep 2010|02:02am]
Sorry i didn't update in..probably months now..August was spent having what i THINK is the chicken pox, a crack pot doctor said it was. September was spent recovering and now i'm apparently having an allergic reaction to something. I'll tell you all about these things when I post again: I'm a 3rd degree black belt now, Living at Chris's House, The situation at the Dojo, Working at Nordstrom, Whats up with my ex wife, My girlfriend, Jade, and much much more.

I'll update soon as I can. Just had to write this to get the ball rolling.


March 2010! [17 Mar 2010|08:12pm]
[ mood | content ]

So..It is March already, it feels like january was just here. I can't believe how fast this year is going. There's a ton of news I have to tell you about, if I haven't already..

So far I am moved out of my old house, i'm living with a friend of mine out in the acreage. Things are interesting living between two houses. It is a nice feature to go back over there and have my own room, bathroom, and everything. Also..we have built a dojo where the living room used to be ^_^

I am working only at the karate school now. I'm freelancing and such on the side, but nothing major in terms of a "regular job". Which is fine for now I suppose, till money gets really tight. However, I have time for this later, and will not dwell so much on it just this moment. I am not letting it go to the wayside however, so don't worry about that. I'll get a regular job soon enough.

I've been spending alot of my time playing, training, exercising, and just surviving for the most part. I know this sounds like i'm not getting much done, but the training is to further my karate career. I train basically everyday. having students who actually want to learn and can spare the time to do so, really helps.

In terms of the other things in my life, the cat for example, he had hurt his leg, and it finally healed, the fur is just growing back. Lisa is pregnant, my sister. She's a few weeks along I guess. Scatena, Sam, and Kojen are the main crew these days. We don't really go out a whole lot, but we spend alot of time training, and just joking around. Scat went to Spain last week, for spring break, while Evelina came down here to stay with me. It was a great week for both of us it seems, and we both really enjoyed our time with our lovely ladies. We have big plans for Scat's house, and I'm glad so far everything is working out. If I had a steady source of income, we could do great things with that place. Really everything is going great except the job thing, in case you haven't realized lol.

I am unsure as to what to say otherwise, I'll have to do more updates so I know what i've said and what I haven't lol.


How life has revolutionized. [15 Feb 2010|11:31pm]
Hey there dear reader, How are you?

Things have certainly changed, but that seems to be the only constant in my life really lol. I have realized that. Its hard to imagine myself when I was younger, because its such a stark contrast to how I am now. I used to be lazy, never really wanting to do anything, because I was either too afraid too, or just didn't care. Nothing mattered, and life was there simply to pass the time. I've grown a lot now. and things have certainly changed. I do activities just because I like doing them. People matter, things matter. but only so far as I let them. Its been six years since my brother passed away, that feels like it was another life time ago. I'm divorced now, as I'm sure you've realized If you read my last post. I train many days now, be it with friends or students. I've gained a few manuals that I work from, and it's not like the Masters don't keep us busy with random things we need to work on. I love it, honestly. :)

I actually have to make time to play video games now lol..like..set aside time. I don't work anywhere right now, except the dojo, yet somehow I'm always busy.. I'm not sure how this works. I go up and down between here and Gainesville often now. To visit my old friend Ryan, and actually my girlfriend lives up there as well.It may seem in poor taste to be dating so soon after the divorce, but we've been separated for months now reader. Interestingly enough,( on the girlfriend thing) We had no intention of dating one another, we were simply hanging out often to cure our boredom that Royal palm tends to create when you live there, and eventually just decided to...give it a shot. Our futures don't collide it would seem, but.. its not often that the future is as we expect, now is it?

Onto other things.. I'm actually moving out of my house.. I'm going to moving not too far away, about 12 minutes away actually, into a house. Don't ask how I can afford this lol...but yeah..a Four bedroom two bath house. It'll basically just be me there for a long time, but the owner of the house goes in and out a lot, is what I mean to say. I'm 24 years old now..its time to move out.. i don't want to be home forever..simple as that. I'm not arguing with my parents, or not getting along with anyone or anything..I'm simply moving out because its time to move out now. Its been a long time that I've been at that house and really just feel the need to get out and grow.

Life is always interesting.. never boring.. wish I could say more...but..I simply can't..

farewell for now dear reader, until we meet again...
Temet Nosce..~The Silver Wolf of Eternity.. Sean.


So it is then.. [08 Jan 2010|01:23pm]
[ mood | accomplished ]

That we begin this journey anew. Or should I simply say that the path has shifted? Things are entirely different..as per usual lol..
My life is dynamic, and things are definitely going in a path deviated from what Fury planned.
I am going to be a bachelor again, come this January 22nd. My birthday is the 17th, as I'm sure your aware. I was married for two years, married October 6th, 2007. We officially split up from each other late September of '09, so we made it just shy of two years. Its been months now, since myself and Cindy split up, and life has been nothing but change ever since. Read on..
When Cindy first left, it was weird at first, realizing that I was alone again. It was freeing, I have to admit. I began to find old friends, first just one or two here..then a few more..then a few more..until I was surrounded lol. All my old friends have returned from the wood works, as they say. We all talk and hang out, chat and train together. And life was good.
You begin to get a bit lonely, and hanging out with so many people of course spawned the whole... people liking you, you liking certain people.. thing..bleh.. lol..none of those worked out..which in hind sight was probably for the best.
Anyways, my jobs and sights of my future have shifted a bit. I still train daily, which is awesome, the Calender system I setup on the wall is way into the hundreds, which is an entirely crazy number lol. This winter break was amazing, to be honest with you. Probably the best winter break I ever had. I traveled down to Miami with some friends, stayed there for a while. I got to train and spar with some new people, which was awesome. Life is an adventure, and I'm tired of taking a back seat. I'm supposed to be this hero or something later on the psychic's say..well..I wanna know what kind of creatures i'm saving, Damnit! lol.

I have regained my honor, After training diligently, and staying out of trouble, I've done things to regain it. I've helped people now, people that the universe threw at me lol.. I've made my word impeccable, I no longer assume what people say or mean.. I dont gossip, and I always do my best.. The Four Agreements are accomplished..I even heard there's a fifth agreement..how weird.

The martial arts has shifted and changed, I practice alone alot now, train with friends when I can. The dojo that I'm part owner of has taken some hits amongst the instructors, and alot of students quit just because their life got in the way. Politics is always annoying. My training however is evolving, the things we do now in the name of training are outrageous.. Running, skating, sparring for hours, doing our forms with weights all over lol..we're nuts, I swear. Its like that television show Naruto, "If I can't do ten push up's, i'll do one hundred sit up's..and If I can't do one hundred sit up's, i'll do five hundred jumping jacks!" Its INSANE!

anyways, as I deviate.. The path's of life have shifted, Fury, my old friend, shifted them for us. We now have access to better futures, better lives, and more rewarding endeavors. We can accomplish great things, the Chosen, and we will.. I know we will.

Life is never boring dear reader, Know that.


Unsung [25 Oct 2009|06:42am]
What they never know you did, they wont care about. What was never heard, will never be appreciated. What was never seen, will always be unnoticed. Unfortunately, sometimes..its better to leave them where they're comfortable..instead of where they'd be happy.

Let it go.


Chicago. [22 Sep 2009|09:30am]
[ mood | blank ]

I've actually been in Chicago for 2 weeks, well..Antioch Really.

They want me to go back up there for a while..so yeah.. might stay here a few weeks then head back up..its different up there...but I can't help but feel i'm falling for some kind of trap or something..dunno.

Anyways.. is what it is..

that's all for now..will update later.


Hm.. Same problem, different angle. [31 Jul 2009|02:53am]
[ mood | bored ]

And thus here I sit, it is...2:54am in the morning lol.
I laugh because this is a common thing apparently. Its not insomnia..and i'm not worried about anything..i'm just..not tired.
The big decision right now is what game to play next, just beat Conan a week or so ago.. Could start up sim's..but that's never ending.. There's Sigma..but damn that game's hard..maybe I need hard..dunno..

I'm starting to lose my calender-ness..I need to go back to doing everything everyday. All forms, combinations, and animal techniques..I've been slacking..it takes less than an hour to do it all..laziness!

Laziness..I have great disdain for it.. Blah..I can do it.
Hm...what to do right this second though..too late to work out now..and..I'm doing personal training with people tomorrow.. crap.
I suppose I'll try to sleep after this..
Anyways, to the meat of the matter.

Wolf is at a crossroad, The path's before him are Project SP, and Project K..
Sp leads to a road of repitition, probably some pain, but at the very least its exciting and fufilling of certain things. Project K however is hard, about the same difficulty in the physical way, but probably ten times harder in the mental. Which do you choose? You want to choose K to protect everyone, yet as a social creature, You'll obviously want SP. What do you do Wolf? Cast the Die? lol..good luck.
Project Sp.. you know that road, what it leads to, how it works, and the down sides to it.
Project K is unfamiliar, yet using the same setup you used before, Just applied to that higher state. One will be more fufilling in some ways, the other in other ways.
Choose Wolf, Or the world Will choose for you.
Ikuzo! Day ..32 of Working out.

Farewell, Dream well, Sleep well.
heh.. typed that perfect, One point for Project K.
Night readers.


Tired.. [12 Jul 2009|02:01am]
[ mood | tired ]

not been sleeping lately.. not because of problems or stress.. just.. looking up stuff lol. Philosophy.. studies on health.. theories.. So much stuff to learn.. but..rest is important.. I'm gonna try to rest more..
Farewell for now.
oh..Day 16 of working out everyday.


Kuso.. [10 Jul 2009|12:49am]
Only made it to 60 push up's.. shoulders not 100% yet it would seem..
NOTE!: After Taking a short two minute break to get water, I finished the others..
I did 110 of everything. From now on Tenchu is requiring 100's.
Every other day for now, then everyday later.
The training starts now.. I'll do it alone.
I'm not complaining, i'm not whining, this isnt' a call for help. I need to do this alone.
I'm proud of myself :)
This is the first time i've even attempted that set of 100.. its what messed up my shoulder on the first degree black belt test.. died in the 40's.. thats when my shoulder screwed up..around 42 lol..

I finally did it..lol.. 2 and a half years later..In your face Grupposo :P



Training. [10 Jul 2009|12:35am]
Starting to train now.. We went to tree's tonight, and I figured out that I dont want anyone to train with. I was watching the people walking by, all drunk and basically just chasing eachother..it sickened me lol. I need to do this stuff, get it done, to have the ability to do it alone, I shouldn't use others as an excuse to train. I'm working tomorrow, but i'll start training after that. I can even train at the restaurant if i keep it light enough that I dont sweat lol.
The calender was a great start..I want to fill it up completely :)

I'm supposed to be laying off the computer and stuff more now anyways, part of a pact I made.

farewell social world lol.. The Training begins this very second..

gonna do 100 push up's, sit up's, and jumping jacks..
Let the Black Belt Test Begin.


Duct tape. [04 Jul 2009|10:52pm]
"I dont respect a man who can shoot a gun, I respect the man who can use duct tape."

"I don't fear the man who practiced ten thousand kicks one time, I fear the man who practiced one kick, ten thousand times."

"It's not safe here anymore, Vanish as though you were the wind, Blend in with the earth as though you were a stone, go through those who would do you harm as though you were fire, Flow as though you were water.. Vanish, its not safe here."

"Three weeks from now, I will be harvesting my crops. Imagine where you will be, and it will be so. Hold the line! Stay with me! If you find yourself alone, riding in the green fields with the sun on your face, do not be troubled. For you are in Elysium, and you're already dead!"

Will post again later.


And here we are. [01 Jul 2009|02:56pm]
[ mood | confused ]

Well dear readers, I have some bad news for you.
As it turns out, I am not as ....honorable as I should be. I have been married for over a year and a half now, not sure if you knew that or not..but yeah. I did something pretty stupid, I got involved with someone else.. I kissed another woman who was not my wife. Upon being caught, everything kind of exploded. My mental issues with my marriage all came out, and myself and my wife seperated. She didn't go very far, but its a world away still, across the hall. We've had some killer arguments, and things havn't gone too well, but.. I decided a divorce was best. On a side note, I did end it with the other girl as well. My wife went straight to the other girls family, and they ordered us to stay apart from eachother, and said girl decided that it be best she stay away from me, and that her feelings for me were nothing more then infatuation. So. As it is, The Silver Road has me again, The silver road being what I call it when I'm single.

Well..I suppose I'm not actually single yet, I'm still legally married..but the divorce papers are being worked on.. My wife doesn't want to divorce..but.. I feel we should.. we've been through tons..yes.. we have alot in common, yes.. but.. I dont know.. I was nicer as her friend..I was better as her friend. I dont do well as husband apparently. I'm not a very honorable person, as I stated when I started this entry. As per usual, there is a "however" here.. I have started training daily.. working on various parts and peices of my martial arts forms and combinations and such. I intend to redeem my honor through rigourous and torturous training. I want a clean slate, and I think I can gain one. Its not to say that i'm better off without my wife, things will certainly be more difficult..but.. We both have growing to do..and.. it is what it is so to speak. We will have to break.. I dont neccessarily want that..but.. I think its the right thing to do.. We are young yet, maybe not soul wise, but still.

Onto Current problems. As it turns out, myself and my seperated wife are natural friends, we have tons in common, and its hard NOT to be friends. However, i've heard through the grape vine, that she's interpreting my friendliness as mixed signals. That is not my intent.. We do get along great, and We were the best of friends at one point. I have no intent of being mean or anything..I honestly dont like being mean to people. How do you help the person you've hurt? You really can't I suppose. Every action I take at this point seems to hurt her invariably, one way or another. Bleh..its all very confusing dear reader. I myself dont quite understand it.
In shocking news..i've started up one of these social networking thingies..facebook..
On there i've managed to reclaim alot of old friends who I simply just lost contact with.
This works out well because..i honestly could use some friends.. being alone is lonely, surprisingly lol..

I was expecting lonliness..I was not expecting the want for someone to work out with. I love working out..I love exercising, but its difficult alone, to be honest with you. Its somehow just not the same as working out with someone else. I'm not seeking companionship with anyone mind you.. I'm going to take a break from that for a while, but the problem is that I naturally get along with females, so alot of my old friends ARE female. That doesn't mean i'm going to be with them.. I HONESTLY dont want anyone right now.. relationships are confusing and painful and I screw them up. I just want some friends to talk to, nothing more, nothing less.
Journal my friend, Life is challenging lol..
~The Silver Wolf of Eternity.
Sean K.

(1 Cannot Choose Their Destiny /...Dream...)

Reigning Training. [29 Jun 2009|02:11pm]
Bored as of late. Everything kind of fell apart. Was my own doing. That's fine.
You can't undo what was done, but you can look forward.
I have alot of alone time now.. I'm doing a good mix of training and thinking.
I setup some good things.. a calender to track my training, and i'm eating regularly.
Sleep is still eluding, but..meh.. its not a real problem.
I'm feeling blah, but i'll try to get over that soon too.
Raining atm.. summer rains alot.

Things will get better Wolf..They always do.
Get out there..make some friends..do something. Don't sit inside the four walls, they arn't your prison anymore.

Free yourself.
Temet Nosce.


So Yeah.. [07 Jun 2009|01:45am]
Well.. yeah..things are going great. We had a major incident with a few students at the school.. For future reading of this journal, there's no need to go into details, I'm very sure you'll remember and not need an explanation.


We have a huge water leaking problem right now with the AC/ Water heater. Its leaking, which means my closet, and my bedroom, which are the next two rooms over, floods horribly.
Yeah.. water spots are coming up through the floor.. in my BEDROOM.
Where..90% of my electronics are? Yep..good stuff..
Its happened before and it went away after we managed to have the water heater patched up.

bleh.. just erased like two pages of rant.. lol..sorry..i go off like that..

Anyways.. Hung out with sam recently, I want to make a note of the fact that I was both not surprised, yet surprised at his outlook of all current events.
He surprises me alot, and has always had an interesting out look on things in life. I guess thats why we're friends. I do things from weird angles, and he see's things from weird angles.
Life is interesting that way. I spoke with Diane recently, the future is interesting, as always, I can see things will only be boring for a slight amount of time, then horribly interesting as per usual.

Lets see how things turn out.. life will never be the same again, and the future is as liquid as always. Lets see how this plays out.. wait and see..I suppose..
Today's Riddle...
The Shell of a turtle weighs Twice its normal amount Before Sunrise, Ten more times before Dinner, and a thousand times before midnight. How or why do turtles carry them?
No, no one will figure out this riddle...and no its not really a riddle..its a message to me of the future :P
Farewell Reader, May you see better days. "May You See Calm Sea's and following winds."


Eyes Wide. [20 May 2009|12:58am]
[ mood | restless ]

I went back and read my journal.. I whine too much. Also, I'm an ass most of the time. Something has changed that opened my eyes to seeing it. I complained too much. I noticed it before, but with these new eyes I really saw it.
I Apoligize. Sincerely.

Temet Nosce- Know Thyself. Are you happy with this? Are you happy with how things are going? You made things this way, You edited, changed, rewrote things so that they'd go on like this. You really do control fate, and you don't seem to fully grasp that. You are the writer of your own path, the chooser of your own Destiny.

Light Yagame was a Douche..please don't copy him.
~The Silver Wolf.


Twenty Days of The Yin Yang. [21 Apr 2009|10:46pm]
So.. it's been roughly twenty days since my last post. I've been working out as much as I could, doing push up's and trying to train and such. I don't go with scatina to the gym anymore, and Cindy still didn't cancel her membership :P

Anyways. I was right in my last post, my mind set did change. And it finally started to come back into focus. Yikes, what a change. My mind is focused, stronger, but still scattered in some ways. I don't know what to do, I find myself in deer in headlight syndrome. lol.. Not in fighting or anything like that, but just in general life questions.
I've started training with Jerry a bit more, which is good, he's a great teacher.

Life is difficult..it will never get easier. You get breaks sometimes, but the real deal is that the challenges get harder. They always will. Its not whether you win or lose said challenge, but more about how you face them. You will continue, unless you die, but other then death, you will always get through your problems, but its your mentality on how to face them, that's important..Character.

I've been really...off lately. Mentally I guess. I'm able to withstand things I shouldn't be able to. That sounds like a great thing, but..when your supposed to be feeling stuff..and your not..that's bad.
know what I mean?

Lets see what happens... Harder, Stronger, Faster, Better, The worst things in the world lol..

I am The Silver Wolf of Eternity, The Craziest, Luckiest, Meanest, most Unfortunate, Fortunate bastard in the World...maybe.


The balance of mind and body [01 Apr 2009|12:02am]
Interesting balance..
Most of my life, i've had a weak body, and a fairly strong mind.

It seems that as of late, since My shoulder was repaired, that its beginning to flip..
My body is stronger, and my mind is stronger, but my thoughts are scattered...well..
not scattered..but..not resting.

I had an interesting thought at Tai chi.. What if my mind were like this.. in preperation for a new mind set. Like philosophy would say.. let your mind be like the wandering dragonfly, never resting, but gently landing from time to time, only for a few moments, before flying off again.

I have to wonder though..what level of mindset could I have...that...I need preperation for?
That must be intense... The gods know what their doing..we'll have to wait and see I suppose.
That's kind of what it feels like...like their prepping my mind for something. I have a really weird mindset as of late.I can't explain it very well. A fact which is odd on its own, be it that I'm the word guy. It's weird to me, because my mind feels like it used to, a long long time ago. My ability to visulize has doubled... its like have the imagination of a child again. I can picture the exercises in tai chi, clearly. They say to draw the energy in like water rising, and I SEE it..I can literally feel the descriptions they give on certain things.. I don't know whats up, or whats going on as of late, But it can't be bad.
I need to be strong for the war, and this seems to be doing it. I just wish I knew what it was that was causing it lol.
I really dont know what to expect.. My body feels amazingly strong, like I'm impermable to getting sick, or weak, but my mind is scattered.... well.. not scattered.. its hard to not use that word. My mind is like..reaching out for questions..to the answers I already know.
We'll have to wait and see I suppose.. What ends up happening.
~The Silver Wolf of Eternity.

Ps to Cindy when she reads this: Sorry i stayed up so late..its 1:06am.


Scatina day 2. [15 Mar 2009|02:07am]
Today was the second workout with Scatina. Targeted different body parts.
I'm not yet as sore as i was last time. Tomorrow may change that.

I can see Project SP working out pretty well...just gotta keep up with it, thats the hard part. But I think we can do it, he likes to be pushed to his limits, same as Me.

And we both know how to do that, seperately. I have exercises that kill him, and he has exercises that kill me. Works out well...unless we both end up dead lol.

I dont think that'll happen though, we can only hope to both gain from eachother.
I'm not saying we're using eachother, we're honestly friends. He's one of the better guys I know. Sam doesn't care for him, but who does Sam care for?

Anyways. I think it can work out. I've been seeing alot of my physical weaknesses.. There are plenty. Hopefully we can work them away, and in return I can make him more flexible or anything.

he can't stretch worth a crap :P

I'm checking almost every chosen..that's what i've been doing. Checking all the Chosen.. seeing how far along they are..if they're along at all. Alot of them have fallen.. not died, but fallen to bad things. Alot of them are still learning, they arn't ready yet.
However... Alot of them..are exactly where they're meant to be. The Chosen are the Chosen.
Even the one's that have begun to "fallen" arn't so far they can't be saved.
I'm proud of these people.. They're like..extended family lol.
What's ...not very surprising, is that alot of them are female.

Interesting stuff. The Chosen are becoming ready.. Interesting.
Each area has its leader.. every leader is interesting, has their own team.
Every team is interesting to me, I can compare and contrast to those i've met myself.
None of my 'extended' teams were ever as close as some of the teams out there.
My base team of Me, Sam, Cindy, Dave..we're as close as some of the better teams out there..but their like..half our power.

Change Subject*
I've been being bugged by a question lately..or..maybe its the answer thats bugging me, and I dont know the question. I feel odd at night..like..i'm supposed to know something I don't. That's why i've been checking the Chosen. I can't report too much more on what I've been finding out.. Not here.

*waves* Its late..I have training in the morning..have to work out the damage chris did lol.
Today we did shoulder shrugs with like 60lbs,

Bleh. Night
Farewell, Dream well, Sleep well.


Working out.Gym wise. [13 Mar 2009|01:20am]
Tonight I started working out with Scatina. We actually went and did his routine tonight, upper back, triceps, biceps, lower back, ankles.

Scatina is a scientist when it comes to the gym, a tiger, he's really really tenacious about it. It's amazing..it really is. I have to keep up with it, I have to continue with him, no matter what, I can't let it fall to the way side.

Today was a busy day. Also was Alvin's birthday. He would've been 31 years old today..thats insane.

The river divides, it splits in two, the mountains can be moved aside. Remember the true path has always been the true path, there is no deviations. Remember what you saw, remember what is. That will be the path. The path that was set so long ago.
The sword that is drawn from experience and training, will conquer. Begin anew, Begin again, in efforts to start with the end in mind.
You are being watched, this is not you alone.

Today you made the vow at the marker, that the chosen were ready. Remember this day. its the day everything was okay'd by you. Today is the day that the accusations became enough. The day you decided, The day you made up your mind that the war is coming.

The sword is sadly drawn in sacrifice.
The sacrifice was the training, the time, the effort, the sweat.
It was worth it.

Sleep well, because right now, your upper body is sore as hell lol.
Chris is an awesome gym partner. Couldn't have gotten anyone better.
Thank you gods, goddesses, Fate, and everything else.

Sleep well.


Warning, Long Post, For No Good Reason, Don't waste your time. [06 Mar 2009|02:00am]
So.its 2am, on the dot, as I start this. I'm posting for no damn reason except to post. All my friends have gone to bed. Everyone's left. I find myself like this alot. Its not insomnia. I CAN go sleep, but I wont, refuse to. I have too much on my mind. too many things going at once. I want to go, I should go, I have to do somethings tomorrow, this is how It always is. The night of the black belt test, I was in pain, no one would wake up to help me. I'm in this situation now, i'm at the state i'm always back to, and no one can help. I don't look to others, yet i'm surprised when no one comes. I should know better.

Utter Foolishness. I feel like a Fool. There's the answer, the question, whatever it is. I know its there, where? in front of me I'm sure.
I want. I have. I know. But yet there's nothing that can help me. This, none of it, will make sense.

What do I do?

I..wait. The Sun will be my next greeter. I welcome it..and await.

The Silver Wolf.
The Sun Greeter :P

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